MARKET NEWS

A KEY ECONOMIC indicator suggests that the American economy might be in for a rough few months.

The market for Hunter Biden stories – the Hunter B Index – has all but collapsed, leaving investors desperately selling Hunter futures and broader markets anticipating further declines, all as the US Government is in shut down.

“The departure of Joe Biden from the White House was always going to affect the demand for Hunter Biden stories,” says Hoober Winkle, a Nepo analyst on Wall Street. “But the collapse has caught investors by surprise. No one wants to know, especially as Trump is providing so much copy that everyone else is left standing. Hunter would have to be involved in a mass shooting at a kindergarten, or something like that, for the price of stories on him to return to pre-election levels. Maybe a foul-mouthed, drug-fueled rant about Kamala Harris or Hillary Clinton. Or something connected to Jeffery Epstein. Otherwise, I think we could be looking at meltdown and oblivion.”