SAN FRANCISCO

WORD THAT THE United States Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (I.C.E) was in town has caused thousands of drugs addicts to gather at detention sites for illegal immigrants in the belief that they could score methamphetamine for free.

“We’re up to our necks in dope heads and addicts,” said one ICE agent. “The idiots are even willing to be deported if they can score drugs. Look, it’s an opportunity. I’m not saying any more. But Mr Trump …”