WASHINGTON, DC

AS CONGRESS SINKS under the weight of a Government shut down, President Donald Trump has unleashed his inner Louis XIV by arranging for a $250 million ballroom construction at the White House. Which he says he and some patriots will pay for, privately.

“This puts those No Kings schmucks in their place,” said a MAGA voter. “The Donald ain’t no pissy king, he’s a goddamn emperor. And we’re an empire. MAGA MAGA MAGA!”