SCIENCE DESK

A BREAKTHROUGH in female fat research has discovered that women actually excrete much of their excess fat through speech.

“This could account for the fact that women speak more than men, and expend perhaps three times as many words in any given day,” says Dr Spektra Slyt, who led the project. “Though we have other data that demonstrates fat women actually talk more than thin women, so we need more work on that. Perhaps it’s the nature of the conversation. Still, the link between weight and speech is there and we have detected fat in the atmosphere when women speak. In our experiments, we had one set of women speaking for hours on end next to another set of women who said nothing and the latter group emerged markedly heavier. But strangely they were more attractive to men.”