LONDON

THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT may be forced to increase the tax bill of its citizenry, to pay for any judgement against the BBC should President Donald Trump take the broadcaster to court for defamation following a Panorama documentary where edits of one of his speeches gave the impression that he was advocating violence against the American Congress.

“The BBC has apologized, which is one-nil for The Donald,” says Defamation Lawyer Kutus Teeth. “He wants a billion from them in damages, doesn’t he? That’s just for starters. If damages became somehow aggravated – say the BBC had previously run a similar clip months before, and were criticized for it, and yet still broadcast the Panorama documentary – then you might be going to a billion five, if he won. Costs, of course, will be huge. The BBC will not be able to afford this. So the British people will have to pick up any tab, should the President be successful. They won’t call it a tax increase, they’ll probably blend it into something else, give it another name, but the end result will mean the Government in London reaching into the pockets of its already struggling populace. Or maybe they could crowdfund it. Open a Patreon page, perhaps. My advice? Settle.”