DUBLIN

FOLLOWING A PROPOSAL to remove the name of former Israeli President Chaim Herzog from a public park in the Irish Capital, in protest at the Jewish state’s actions in Gaza, a fresh demand has emerged to remove all references to the most famous Jew of all time, Jesus Christ, from statues and buildings across Ireland, to reinforce Irish fury at Israel’s recent campaign against Hamas.

“This Jew is everywhere in this country. It’s a diabolical liberty!” says Mick, who still resents the three Hail Marys he received as penance after a confession to masturbation in 1976. “He’s typical of Jewish oppression. He has to go. Think of the effect it has on Hamas to know that this Jewish bloke has millions of Irish people paying homage to him every week. Impossible.”