DUBLIN

IRISH NATIONAL TELEVISION network, RTE’s announcement that it will boycott the next Eurovision Song Contest in protest at Israel’s actions in Gaza, is being seen by media observers as a supremely lucky break for the penurious broadcaster, which has been struggling to survive even with government grants, advertising and a licence fee.

“RTE is one of those sacred cows that feed off small societies until the society can no longer support them without going bankrupt,” says Hubris Puffchest, a former producer who now lives on the street. “The last such institution here was the Church of Ireland, which commanded a ten percent tax, called a tithe, for centuries, from a population, the majority of which did not even worship in its churches. RTE has become the Church of Ireland of our times, with less and less of the people adherents and yet the institution still demanding its annual revenue. But even that is not enough to keep it solvent these days. It bleeds money, paying its many of its staff terribly inflated salaries for what is often journeyman product. So this ‘boycott everything *Israel’ thing is a godsend really. It means RTE doesn’t have to take part in the great Eurovision Song Contest drivel next time out, and more importantly they don’t run the risk of Ireland actually winning and them having to host the bloody thing, which is massively expensive. Maybe, if it turns out that no one notices – many Irish people watch the BBC coverage which usually has an Irishman commentating anyway – we will never see Eurovision on RTE ever again. But I doubt it. They had to pass a law to get the Church of Ireland off the national payroll. And frankly it’s been better for ever since.”

*Israel is a member of the European Broadcasting Union, despite its being in the Middle East. Other countries within a certain geographical boundary beyond Europe itself, like Morocco and Algeria and Egypt could also enter the contest but don’t because of Israel. Once, Morocco did because Israel pulled out for religious reasons. It’s complicated and confusing and it’s best not to ask too much. – ED