FROM OUR NATURE WRITER, DESTINY WINDOW

A LEADING HINDU scholar says that recently deceased French sex kitten, Brigitte Bardot, was born to champion animals.

“It is quite clear that this woman, dubbed a sex kitten in her younger years, was always going to pursue a life as a champion of the animal kingdom,” insists Rajiv Spiwnbula, whose most recent work You Are An Animal is in its fifth printing.

“Ms Bardot, having been labelled a sex kitten, found herself in a kind of cage, being treated as sort of domestic pet by her industry and the general public. She understood what it must be like for other creatures who find themselves the subject of human desire and whim. I am sure her reincarnated self will be a creature of great power as befits the champion she became.”