CARACAS

RUMOURS THAT AMERICAN special forces were waiting for Nicolas Maduro when he fled to his panic room have been supported by reports that he was met with the line: “Happy New Year, Motherfucker!”

“US special operations is known for its super-jock culture, and details of Mr Maduro legging it to a panic room only to find heavily armed soldiers waiting for him with a movie-style punch line is in keeping with their traditions,” says former Seal Team operative Stone, whose ability to absorb rocket propelled grenades using only his chest is legendary in the SF community. “We like to use humor, and often script our engagements so that everyone gets a good one-liner.”