CARTAGENA

SEVERAL SOUTH AMERICAN drug cartels have sent their profound thanks to President Donald Trump for taking one of their main competitors out of the narcotics trade.

“We sincerely appreciate Donald Trump’s actions in removing Nicolas Maduro from our business,” a cartel hit man announced. “It opens up so much opportunity for us in Venezuela. And it cost us nothing. In fact, it save us millions. Strength and Honor, Mr President.”