FLORIDA

A MISTAKEN PRESS release claiming Nicolas Maduro was manufacturing weapons of mass destruction, has been withdrawn by the United States after a mix-up saw an old document, dating back twenty years, find its way on to a podium and be partially read out to reporters.

“Hey maybe he was,” remarked the spin doctor in the spotlight. “Guys like him are always doing something shitty. Fuck it, the guy couldn’t even make oil pay. They’re better off without him.”