SAN FRANCISCO

DRUG ADDICTS ACROSS the United States say they have noticed a spike in street prices of cocaine since the abduction of Nicola Maduro at the weekend.

“It’s had an effect,” said Hunter, who did not want to give his surname. “I guess there’s been some hoarding in anticipation of various supply routes being closed off. But people are switching to Fentanyl and Meth and stuff like that to plug the gaps.”