MANHATTAN

DONALD TRUMP MAY offer to pay Denmark for Greenland with beads, cloth and trinkets, according to White House sources.

“Look, the President’s a New Yorker, and New Yorkers are all familiar with the story of how Manhattan was purchased by the Dutch,” said a spokesman. “So he kinda feels that he shouldn’t pay much more for Greenland than the Dutch paid for Manhattan. What was that, about twenty four bucks? And let’s face it, who wants a penthouse in Greenland? There are limits to what you can do with this piece of real estate. Maybe we’ll go as high as thirty. And the President might throw in his wedding ring. If the First Lady is okay with that.”