PENTAGON WRITERS

THE UNITED STATES once had fifteen bases on Greenland. Today it has but one, the Pituffik Space Base. Yes, space. Apt, as it is surrounded by a frozen landscape and not much else. No Russian or Chinese troops. Nothing. Except Musk Oxen ans such other creatures as can stand the cold.

“If President Trump wants to seize the whole island, all he has to do is open the base gate and let our guys walk through it,” said a junior Pentagon official when he heard of the Donald’s order to prepare an invasion plan. “However, those same troops are also supposed to defend Greenland against aggression, so, in theory, Americans could find themselves fighting Americans in any invasion of Greenland. Awkward.”