FEJHED, DENMARK

DENMARK’S CRAVEN DESCRIPTION of Donald Trump’s desire to take over Greenland as a ‘fundamental disagreement’, has caused even some MAGA loyalists to ask why they haven’t put up anything like a fight to the US demand?

“We want to take their house and they describe it as a fundamental disagreement,” says A.P.C. Sherman, a centenarian veteran of World War II. “My buddies died for these people. What kind of slimy weasels have they become? They really want us to continue to defend them? I tell you, let’s ask for Britain next, and then Germany. No, we won’t ask for France. Having to occupy the French would be just too much to endure. God in heaven, what have these Europeans become? It’s nauseating to watch them. Defend them? They’re dead already. Not one American soldier should ever be sacrificed to defend Europe. If Putin wants Europe, he’s welcome to it. Those poor Ukrainians who think they’re defending Europe, they’re laying down their lives for pampered poodles. They ought to make peace with the Russians. They have more in common with the Russians than that collection of useless dilettantes to the west. I’m ashamed they were ever our allies. God dammit, Europe, grow a pair, will you! Tell the President to close his Greenland base and get the hell out. Then we can talk!”