BRUSSELS

THE EUROPEAN UNION is planning to respond to Donald Trump’s recent speech to the World Economic Forum in Davos, by organizing a German speaking day across the continent.

Trump told the attendees at the Forum that if it were not for the United States they would all be speaking German. Those who already speak German were left confused as Davos is in a German-speaking canton of Switzerland, where most people do speak German.

A communique from the European Union obtained by the Kookaburra Bugle reads: “A text will be sent to all citizens: ‘Leck Mich Am Arsch, Trump!’ and people will be asked to say it at a particular time on a particular day. Those with phones are asked to inform those without phones. Children under 12 are asked not to partake. Religious – priests, pastors, nuns, druids, Jedi Knights, are excused. However, it would be useful if the Vatican partook.”