NUREMBERG

THE WORLD IS fast running out of fascists, according to a new report.

“There just aren’t enough fascists for the growing demand,” says Benito Redshirt of the Vlad Dracul Institute, which monitors political intolerance across the globe. “The demand from left-wing organisations and woke partisans who want to yell ‘fascist’ at just about everyone they meet, is fantastic. And so we’re just about out of fascists. Things have gotten so bad that people many on the left of politics have begun calling one another fascists, just to make up the numbers. And of course, the further left you drift the more people you can call fascist. There are still small areas where fresh deposits of fascism have been uncovered in recent decades. California for instance, where fascists appear to have gathered just to die, and now New York City, of course, where collectivism has raised its banner. Suddenly, millions of fascists have been uncovered in the Big Apple. These deposits will assist but with the ever increasing insatiable demand, even these wells of latent fascism will quickly empty.”