KABUL

AN OUTBREAK OF foot spurs among European troops in Afghanistan may have led to what President Donald Trump claimed was under performance in the struggle with the Taliban, in much the same way the condition affected American fighting ability in Vietnam.

“Yes, it was a curious co-incidence that all our armies had an inexplicable incidence of foot spurs, which prevent troops from engaging in combat,” said a British officer, who lost both legs to a landmine in Helmand Province. “I had a moment myself but having lost both my pegs, I don’t suffer from it any more. Phew. The American army hasn’t had a foot spur problem since Vietnam, when the problem saw many young men unable to fight for the country because they had the affliction. Poor bastards.”