CANBERRA

SOURCES DEEP WITHIN the Australian Government have told the Kookaburra Bugle that the Labor administration will fill the energy gap left by the Middle East War, by handing out windmills to every household in the country.

“These windmills are kept at a secret location,” said a ministerial adviser. “We call it Bowen’s Arrow after the energy minister, who is, as is well known, a big supporter of renewable energy. The windmills come in various sizes. There’s the family size, which can probably boil a pot of water once a day; there’s the camper size which can just about keep a light bulb going for fifteen minutes; and there’s the portable which you carry on the back of your ute or on the roof of your car. On a very windy day, you might get half a kilometre with it. I mean, we’re not promising a return to old normal, but it’s an exciting introduction to the new normal, you know, what can be achieved with renewable sources and what Australia will look like if we – and our good friends in the Greens – get our way. I suppose we have to thank Mr Trump for giving us this opportunity. But don’t quote me on that.”