OUTBACK

FOLLOWING ON REPORTS that the Australian Government is planning to release its windmill reserve to cope with fossil fuel shortages caused by the current Iran War, ultra green advocates across the country are calling on Energy Minister Chris Bowen to use this moment to drop fossil fuel use completely and prove to the nation that renewable sources can power Australia into the future.

“We call on Chris Bowen to put into action his intentions,” says a statement from Stone Age Rocks, a renewable energy pressure group based in a cave in the Blue Mountains. “Iran has done us a favor by turning off the Straits of Hormuz. Oil shortages will only get worse. Now is the time to strip the nation of all its fossil fuel dependence and let the windmills turn and the solar panels blanket the desert. We can do this. Come on, Chris. And thank you, Donald Trump. We may hate your guts but you’ve done us a big favor. Climate change eat your heart out.”