NEW YORK

THE UNITED STATES has ordered one hundred and seventy five million *burkas from China, in preparation for the possibility that Donald Trump loses his war against Iran, according to a Pentagon source.

“Yeah, we had to go to the Chinese because the price of fuel here means that we can’t justify the cost of using American factories,” said the unnamed general. “I mean we don’t think it will come to utter defeat and occupation by a Muslim army, but, you know, around here we’ve decided we had better start actually preparing for things. And we can always use them for special force insertions and evacuating personnel, and just disguising members of the administration if all this Iran business goes to hell in a hand basket. Didn’t old Confederate President Jeff Davis escape from Richmond in 1865 dressed as a woman?”

*Enveloping outer garment worn by Muslim women. – ED