CANBERRA

AS IT STRUGGLES to play catch-up with the oil crisis resulting from the Iran War, the Australian Government may be able to meet any fertilizer crisis that runs parallel to the fuel problems, by relying on its own bullshit, according to scientists.

“While they have utterly failed to provide for the oil debacle that has descended on the country, the Albanese regime has it within its own power to meet any deficiency in fertilizers which might arise from the blockage of the Straits of Hormuz,” says Dr Willie Windmill, an expert in renewable energy whose PhD was a study of the use of political hot air as an energy source in the future.

“Not all politicians are capable of producing the kind of bullshit needed to make up any shortfalls we may face. But some members of the Government can meet the challenge in spades. Especially when they are excusing their utter ignorance about things like the difference between petrol and diesel. It’s a fantastic untapped source of crap.”