GYNECOLOGY WRITERS

SUCH IS THE onslaught on Iran’s leadership by the United States and Israel, that Islamic fighters fear Heaven will run out of virgins for the martyrs being sent there.

Islamic martyrs are said to receive 72 virgins when they arrive in Paradise, according to Muslim tradition.

“They are usually of the best quality,” explained Mustafa, whose suicide vest failed twenty years ago. “I was actually able to pick mine from a book. In the end, all I got was a jail cell where I take what I can get. I think today the martyrs also have to take what they are given and the virgin quality may be in decline. Look, how many virgins can there be in Heaven? I mean genuine ones. If the Americans and Israelis keep this conveyor belt of martyrs going, Paradise will just run out of virgins. And that’s a concern. For martyrs anyway.”