FROM OUR MORAL BANKRUPTCY WRITERS

HAVING FAILED COMPLETELY to prepare a decent fuel reserve, or a secondary supply of oil products, the Australian Government may find itself having to turn on Ukraine in a desperate attempt to get hold of once-sanctioned Russian resources.

“Look, Albo and Bowen have ballsed up so badly this time – and remember they have such form for this kind of thing – if it’s a choice between running out of fuel and being hung from a tree, or dumping Ukraine to get hold of Russian oil, then I’m afraid the Ukrainians are surplus to requirement,” explained an Australian Government source. “Yeah, yeah,I know we have wittered on about Russian aggression and plucky little Ukraine fighting for its life, and even given some help to the Ukrainians; but that was for public consumption. In reality, we’ve never been able to fully explain the difference between the two. Sometimes it seems it’s only a vowel or two. Anyway, if we have to have Russian oil – and Trump has given the go ahead for its release – then whatever it takes is going to be Albo’s policy. Remember, at the end of the day, Governments are there for power. That’s all that really counts for them. We’re just hoping that the Russians don’t have long memories.”