BELGRADE, THURSDAY

A SOPHISTICATED DRONE, that disables the vacuum system controlling ships’ toilets, has succeeded in crippling the USS Gerald R. Ford, a giant American super carrier, according to Iranian sources.

“They cannot relieve themselves properly,” said the source. “Imagine thousands of sailors having to go to the toilet over the edge of an aircraft carrier’s flight deck. Our secret drone are equipped with high-end software that hacks the toilet control system and invades the vacuum used with hot air from the ventilation shafts. And the smell. Woosh!”