CANBERRA

A SECRET PLAN to sell of the nation’s roof racks to pay for fuel shipments is being considered by the Australian Government, according to insiders.

In a new advertising blitz, the Albanese administration will be asking Australians to take their roof racks off to save petrol and diesel. But this is said to be only a first step in a larger scheme to confiscate the entirety of the country’s supply of roof racks and use it to finance fuel purchases all over Asia.

“We’re simultaneously running another advertising campaign across Asia, promoting camping vacations,” explained an Australian Labor Party power broker. “If we can get billions of Asians to take up camping holidays, then not only can we sell them our roof racks, but their value will skyrocket and so we can afford to scrounge fuel from anywhere and everywhere. So we don’t run out and see the country go to shit. That’s what Albo has been doing with his visits to Asia. He’s even brought along a few roof racks to demonstrate how to pack a family’s camping equipment on to the roof of a car. Easy Peasy Albanese, we’re calling this campaign. Look, we’re still putting our faith in windmills, like Chris Bowen wants, but you just can’t run farm machinery on windmills as yet. Not our fault, but there you have it.”