BY WAR AS ENTERTAINMENT CORRESPONDENT

“WE’RE RUSHING TO have it ready by November, when we anticipate the various participants should be in the mood to go for each other with a vengeance. It all hangs on the length of the Great Ukrainian Counter-Offensive (GUCO) really.”

So says Charles Charmlyss-Neokon, a London-based international television game show producer, who says the contracts are waiting to be signed and the format will be extremely fluid. “No script necessary for this one, old chap. Fury and feelings of betrayal will write everything. No direction needed either. Recrimination is the unseen guide here. Indeed, there’s already a series of promos out there, blaming NATO for not providing the proper equipment to Ukraine; so we don’t even need to advertise the new show. We are trying to rope Putin in but he’s demanding an outrageous appearance fee. President Biden has been approached too but no response has been forthcoming from the White House. The Pentagon just denies that it has had anything to do with the Ukraine Conflict; while the CIA representative merely said: ‘Saigon, shit. We’re still in Saigon’.”