THE KREMLIN, MOSCOW, RUSSIA

NEWS FROM MOSCOW suggests that President Vladimir Putin, long a fan of extra-long tables, has recently begun to order smaller furniture for his Kremlin headquarters.

“He hasn’t done away with the huge tables,” says a western analyst, “but he’s confident enough of his position now to sit at shorter distances from his guests and staff. Hence the smaller orders – possibly from IKEA. It’s always been rumored that he likes to assemble flat-pack furniture as a hobby. When he’s not fishing or hunting, or doing judo.”

Observers in Kyiv are said to be nervous of the change in furniture styles being contemplated in Moscow’s palaces of powers.

“The better the Russians are doing, the shorter the furniture in the Kremlin,” says a Ukrainian intelligence source.

And Ukraine’s Presidential furniture?

“President Zelenskyy doesn’t spend a lot of time in Ukraine these days,” said a Kyiv insider