A BENCH, MARTIN PLACE, SYDNEY

AUSTRALIA’S GROWING POPULATION of homeless beggars, sometimes referred to as the End Nation, is up in arms over long-term plans to make the country cashless.

“What the fuck am I to do, carry a card reader?” said Bruce, a divorced ex-serviceman, who found himself homeless and then addicted to drugs and alcohol in the space of eighteen months. “I rely on people’s generosity – a few coins – to get enough to eat. It’s already showing itself. Eighty per cent of the people who pass me now don’t carry cash. Buskers are doing it tough as well. Not to mention charities. How do I get a bank account? I have no address, unless you count doorways and street furniture. Is it a conspiracy to drive us all to starvation? Is that it? A quick way to clear us from the streets? I lost the hearing in this ear fighting for my country. Bugger!”

Civil Liberties groups are also concerned.

“Cash is not just a currency, it’s a form of privacy, too,” according to Axyl Chanesah of the Libertarian Protest Forum Me Anon. “When cash goes, there goes the last gasp of anonymity for anyone. And how easy it will be to pressure people through their bank accounts. You see it already around the world, with people whose views are unpalatable being denied banking facilities. That’s the same as sending someone to Siberia in Russia. But at least in Siberia you can find food and shelter. Try doing that when your bank account is shut down because you annoyed someone in power.”