WASHINGTON DC

“LET US BE very clear: without France, there would be no United States of America. France financed your revolution, France supported it, France enabled the crucial American victory at Yorktown. And then France sold about a third of the modern United States to Thomas Jefferson for $15 million. Mar-a-Lago is worth multiples of that. So I ask you. Was that a good deal we gave you, or what?”

These are the words supposedly spoken by President Macron of France to President Trump of the United States of America, when the latter insisted he expected repayment for all the aid and equipment given to Ukraine in its war with Russia.

Mr Trump was allegedly speechless for a few seconds. Then he said: “That Jefferson, he was some kinda deal-maker. Tell you what, let’s set what we owe you for our independence off against what you owe us for two World Wars. How about that? Without us, there would be no France worth speaking of. And we’ll forego interest if you will. Vive La France! Vive Les Etats Unis! Et a bas les autres!”

An hour later, the press office in the Kremlin, Moscow, issued this: “Twenty seven million lives to save you all from Hitler!”