BELGRADE, THURSDAY

A LEADING ECONOMIST has identified a wholly new phenomenon he has dubbed “Shagflation”, which he believes will dominate the Western World for decades to come.

“Shagflation is a situation where birthrates fall and inflation rises because reproductive coupling is in decline,” explained Dr Magum Phuqq, a economic demography researcher based in North Korea. “The earth continues to spin but it is not moving as much as it needs to, if you understand me. The decline in copulation – which is being blamed on technology getting in the way of relationships – lends itself to a consequential population decline which in turn sees governments borrowing more and increasing their spending just to make up shortfalls in private economic activity caused by a lack of young people; the result is a surge in inflation which is difficult to stop. This is different from stagflation, which just sees economies just stagnate while inflation picks up. Shagflationary economies have actually gone into reverse, which is only held up by government spending. It is a real danger.”