FROM OUR PRISON CULTURE WRITERS

A NEW RULING elite, whose calling card is a body covered in tattoos, is being christened the Tattocracy by social commentators.

“This is essentially an evolution of American prison and street gang culture that has bled first into entertainment and sports, and then into the general population,” says Dr Beck Poshe of Wannabee University, whose latest book How Low Can You Go? examines the phenomenon in detail. “It began with the wearing of prison-like jeans down as far as your butt crack, showing your underwear – usually designer, of course – and often involved wearing baseball caps backwards, supported by labelled sunglasses. Then the tatts began to appear. First, random, then spreading like mold. It’s a remarkable evolution but can easily be explained by a desire to seem edgy, and sell yourself as rebellious, while actually being at the centre of the commercial status quo. Show me the tatts and I’ll show you the money. It’s a neat trick, though I hesitate to think what these tattocrats and their cretin followers will look like in old age. Still, useful morons are more than plentiful in this world. You could probably get people to eat their own shit if enough celebrities showed them the way.”