BELGRADE, THURSDAY – THE World of Artificial Intelligence is in shock after Pet Chimpanzee Boris beat American Quantum Computer ‘Ultimate’ in two moves at a secret location in Wyoming. Ultimate had been programmed with every piece of chess knowledge known to man, the intelligence of centuries. Boris had never played the game in his life.…

RELIGION DESK A QUIET revolution in energy supply has been going on in Tibet, Nepal and Northern India where Buddhist monks have been generating electricity using prayer flags. The prayer flags are usually put up to bless the surrounding countryside, and add a colorful backdrop to Himalayan regions. Recently, however, it has been discovered that…

POLITICAL REPORTER ROSS BLAND IN ASUNCION, PARAGUAY Former members of the NAZI Party across Europe, and in South America, have complained to the BBC over Gary Lineker’s comments comparing the British Government’s immigration policy language to that of Nazi Germany. “We were very kind to immigrants,” says Helmut Goebbels, a former Untersturmfuhrer in the Waffen…

By Our Environment Staff A SMALL vole-like creature that lives on the desert margins of the southern Sahara is the focus of recent NASA observations which say that the Earth is five percent greener than it was 20 years ago. The Nigerian Leptisquat, which resembles a round mouse, except for its large teeth, was in…

Various Wire Services An alien travel brochure has been discovered by a Mars rover. “Yeah, it appears to contain an itinerary for a fourteen-day tour of our solar system,” according to a senior NASA source. “Complete with menus, landing schedules and travel guides.” The document, which is contained in an as yet unidentified device, mistook…

SCIENCE DESK AN ancient kangaroo is believed to gone extinct by drowning because it could not control the length of its bounce. The enormous Macropus Giganticus Giganticus, which stood seventy metres high on its hind legs, had one fatal flaw: it bounced so far that often as not it found itself in the ocean after…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY – AN IRISH CONSTRUCTION TYCOON HAS OFFERED TO BUILD A MOUNTAIN RANGE ALONG THE BORDER BETWEEN UKRAINE AND RUSSIA TO SOLVE A MAJOR ISSUE AT THE HEART OF THE CURRENT WAR BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES. PROPERTY DEVELOPER PADRAIG ACREAGE TOLD THE BUGLE: “YEAH, IF THE UNITED NATIONS AND THE EUROPEAN UNION AND THE…

BY OUR SPACE CADET REPORTER VENUS PORTAL BAIKONUR, MONDAY – LIGHT HAS BEEN RECORDED TRAVELLING FASTER THAN ITSELF, AND WE MIGHT BE THE CAUSE. LIGHT FROM THE SUN HAS BEEN CLOCKED TAKING A FRACTION OF A SECOND LESS TIME TO REACH EARTH THAN IT SHOULD ON AT LEAST FIFTEEN OCCASIONS IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS.…

from our business desk GRAND CAYMAN – THE CONTINUED GROWTH OF SO-CALLED “HYPOCRISY FUNDS” HAS BEEN HIGHLIGHTED BY THE RECENT SUPERFUND EMBARRASSMENT OF AUSTRALIAN GREENS LEADER ADAM BANDT. THESE FUNDS SHORT SELL INVESTMENTS OWNED BY FAMOUS PEOPLE – POLICITIANS, CELEBRITIES, RELIGIOUS LEADERS – WHICH CONTRADICT THE EXPRESS PRINCIPLES OF THE FAMOUS INDIVIDUAL INVESTED IN THE…

CANBERRA – AUSTRALIAN Iron Ore bound for China is being spiked with sophisticated nano-bugs which allow Canberra to watch and listen to millions of Chinese conversations around the People’s Republic. The technology, first developed by Mexican drug cartels for use in the United States, turns steel made from it, and therefore entire buildings, into surveillance…