FROM OUR FINAL SOLUTION EDITOR, HEINRICH HEINRICH CALLS FOR A south Dublin park to be stripped of its name in protest at Israel’s military campaign against Hamas in the Gaza strip, have been met with a proposal that the park should be renamed after a famous Irish politician whose first speech to the Irish Parliament…

DUBLIN NEWS THAT IRISH police have complained that the country’s Defence Forces did not fire at suspicious drones flying near the Irish Capital during the recent visit of Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, has been met with a revelation that Irish military personnel do not tend to fire at potential threats as that might cause these threats…

MOSCOW RUSSIA HAS DEVELOPED a bomb which, rather than killing people, leaves them unable ever to pronounce their vowels again, according to a report from British Intelligence. “The effect on any opposing army will be devastating,” the Secret Intelligence Service report states. “Hundreds of thousands of troops unable to make themselves understood to their comrades.…

DUBLIN IRISH NATIONAL TELEVISION network, RTE’s announcement that it will boycott the next Eurovision Song Contest in protest at Israel’s actions in Gaza, is being seen by media observers as a supremely lucky break for the penurious broadcaster, which has been struggling to survive even with government grants, advertising and a licence fee. “RTE is…

DUBLIN FOLLOWING A PROPOSAL to remove the name of former Israeli President Chaim Herzog from a public park in the Irish Capital, in protest at the Jewish state’s actions in Gaza, a fresh demand has emerged to remove all references to the most famous Jew of all time, Jesus Christ, from statues and buildings across…

PERTH, AUSTRALIA FOLLOWING THE HUMILIATING collapse of the England Cricket Team’s middle batting order against Australia in the first test of the current Ashes Series, the latest in a long line of such catastrophes, the United Nations Education, Scientific and Cultural Organisation (UNESCO) has been asked to declare this very specific repeat sporting disaster a…

BY BOYZ RBAC, HUMAN RELATIONS REPORTER A HUGE SURGE in Artificial Intelligence generated girlfriends has led statisticians to calculate that there are more artificial women in men’s lives than real ones, which is causing human females a lot of concern. “And that figure doesn’t discount Californian women, who are sometimes hard to differentiate from the…

MELBOURNE. A TEAM OF AUSTRALIAN researchers has discovered that birds living near the famous Flemington Race Course in the suburbs of Melbourne, Victoria, bet with each other on the outcome of horse races. The team, which was monitoring the effect of climate change on various species of bird around the track, entered the communications of…

KYIV THE TRUMP PEACE plan for Ukraine has echoes of the division of Germany after WW2, says a former nightclub singer who has spent much of the war in Moscow spying for NATO disguised as a Russian grandmother. Code-named Babushka, the spy is now living in Berlin and talked with the Kookaburra Bugle by encrypted…

DUBLIN “THE IRISH CATHOLIC Church is a corpse waiting to be officially pronounced dead. The Protestant Church of Ireland is a fringe encounter group masquerading as a religion. The arrival of nearly a million protestants from Ulster in any United Ireland might just save Christianity on the island. Or not.” Dr Enoch Socrates of the…