BY OUR MADRID STAFF SPAIN SAYS THAT Brits who come to the country on holidays no longer have an automatic right to breathe European Union air after leaving the trading bloc, and will now face being taxed for using Iberian oxygen during their stay. “Up until Brexit, when the UK left the European Union, the…

LONDON FOLLOWING A POLICE officer’s warning a man at a Palestinian demonstration that he was breaching the peace because he was “quite openly Jewish”, the British Government insists that legislation making it a criminal offence to be openly Jewish is not in the pipeline, while terrified Jews all across Europe are said to be packing…

CAPE RACE, SUNDAY A TOP ESKIMO scientist has speculated that the real cause of the sinking of the Titanic may have been the sheer amount of fictional characters populating her when she struck the iceberg. Dr. Josie Seelkull, who specializes in quantum mathematics at the University of The Northern Lights, says that if you marry…

SYDNEY FOLLOWING THE DEVASTATING findings against him at his defamation trial against Channel 10 and Lisa Wilkinson, the wry comment by Justice Michael Lee that Bruce Lehrmann had escaped the lions den only to go back for his hat may provide a crucial point for an appeal on the basis that Justice Lee erred at…

CANBERRA THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT in Canberra is considering making the wearing of a stab-proof vest mandatory for every Australian, following two horrific knife-attack incidents in Sydney over the past three days. “Look, mental health is really a state issue – and Christ knows they’ve handled that one well. Not! – but since no one knows…

BY WILLIAM MERCHANT, FROM VENICE I AM A Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same summer and winter, as a…

BONDI JUNCTION AUSTRALIANS, IT APPEARS, can sleep soundly in their beds in the knowledge that the man who ran amok with a knife in a mall in Bondi Junction, killed six people at random because he was a mental case and not a religious or political fundamentalist. “It a terrific relief that he was just…

TEL AVIV “THESE IRANIAN DRONES take hours to reach Israel from Iran, so long that it would be possible to evacuate the whole population of the Jewish state to safety before the first of them arrived there. And no, they don’t need to stop for fuel in Syria or Lebanon.” So says Middle Eastern expert…

TEHERAN THE IRANIAN GOVERNMENT has thanked Ireland for its continued support of Teheran’s proxy, Hamas, in Gaza, during their ongoing struggle to wipe Israel from the map. “As we launch hundreds of our weapons against Israel, we cannot thank Ireland enough for its support,” said an Iranian spokesman. “We really value it. Allah U Akbar.”

SYDNEY “SIX PEOPLE DIED waiting for the police to save them because they could not save themselves. That’s not a criticism of the police. The officer who shot the Bondi Junction mall attacker dead was courageous and professional and performed her duty well. But the fact of the matter is, that Australia’s gun laws leave…