Category: Uncategorized
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US PRESIDENCY SHIFTS FROM GAME OF THRONES TO GAME OF MARBLES
FROM OUR NORTH AMERICAN EDITOR SINEAD WHEELER-DEALER IN WASHINGTON, DC WE’VE SEE BLACK Power and Girl Power and Gay Power; well now it’s definitely the age of Grey Power. As the US Presidential election heats up, there’s only one issue that counts any more: does the candidate have all his marbles and will he have…
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HOW IS RUSSIA – OVER 2000 KM FROM ENGLAND – AN EXISTENTIAL THREAT TO THE UK? ASKS FIVE-YEAR OLD BILLY
LONDON, ENGLAND WELL BILLY, it’s like this: It would take an invading Russian armored column travelling at an average speed of 30 kilometres pre hour, about 75 hours , that’s three days, to reach the English channel from the current Russian border. This is based upon the vehicles in the column traveling constantly, and meeting…
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IS AFFLUENCE THE DEATH WARRANT OF A SOCIETY?
FROM OUR DEMOGRAPHICS DESK IT MAY BE the hidden slow-acting poison that no one notices until it’s too late, namely the richer your society gets the more distracted it becomes, and the less children it has. Until one day it has no children. “People who even understand the concept usually see entropy – the tendency…
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POPULAR “LOSER” REPLACED BY UNPOPULAR “WINNER” AS CHIEF OF UKRAINIAN ARMY
KYIV SO TEAM UKRAINE has sacked its popular young manager and replaced him with an older unpopular hard-ass. In what can only be described as a lacklustre season, the eastern European nation appears to need a fresh head at the helm. “Yeah, we were going forward, they were going back. Then they were going forward…
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CALLS FOR MORE TEACHERS TO SLEEP WITH STUDENTS AS DAILY MAIL APPEARS TO RUN SHORT OF ONE OF ITS STAPLE OFFERINGS
BELGRADE, THURSDAY IT USED TO be almost a daily occurrence, particularly in the southern states of the US, but recently you can’t find a teacher sleeping with her student for love nor money, and it may yet affect the bottom line of some major new outlets. “Where have all the cougars gone?” asks English journalist…
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SCOPES TRIAL OUTCOME COULD BE REVERSED AS IT TURNS OUT GOD COULD ACTUALLY BE MONKEY WHO CREATED UNIVERSE BY CHANCE AFTER CARRYING OUT MINDLESS TASK FOR INFINITE PERIOD OF TIME
TENNESSEE IT WAS ONE of the most famous trials of the age, the subject of a Hollywood movie starring Spencer Tracy, and the last hurrah of a man who three times sought the presidency of the United States. It was the Scopes Monkey Trial, held in Tennessee in 1925. It centred on a school teacher…
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WHEN JEFFREY DONALDSON SAYS HIS NEW DEAL SAFEGUARDS UNION HE DOESN’T MEAN THE EUROPEAN UNION – INSIST DUP INSIDERS
BRUSSELS STAFF SUPPORTERS OF DUP chief Sir Jeffrey Donaldson are said to be frantically trying to reassure Ulster’s Unionists, that his comments that the deal that brought his party back to Stormont to serve under a Sinn Fein First Minister protected the union, refer to the British union and not the European Union. “Many hard-line…
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SENIOR DUP MEMBER WEARING WIRE AT KEY PARTY MEETING MUST HAVE BEEN TRAINED INFORMER, SAY LOYALISTS
MI5 HEADQUARTERS, HOLYWOOD, BELFAST HARDENED LOYALISTS SAY they are convinced that whoever wore a wire and leaked discussions at the crucial DUP party meeting that decided on re-entry to Stormont, earlier this week, was a long-time well-schooled informer with the skill and cold nerve to walk and talk among trusting friends and then betray their…
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WILL SHOUTS OF “OOH AAH UP THE RA” FROM HIS OWN SIDE ACCOMPANY DUP LEADER JEFFREY DONALDSON AS HE PREPARES TO ENTER STORMONT UNDER SINN FEIN FIRST MINISTER?
BELFAST “NO MATTER HOW you spin this, it’s historic. Unionists serving under a Republican First Minister. The Fenians aren’t just about the place, they’re in charge.” Professor Manus Og Connolly-Pearse-Plunkett-Clarke-Ceannt-McDermott-McDonagh of the Whatever You Say Say Nothing Foundation, an Irish Republican prisoner support group based in Boston, Massachusetts, was visibly tearful when he spoke to…
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HAS NORTHERN IRELAND’S DUP FORCED BRITISH PM TO MAKE THE UK AN EU VASSAL STATE?
FROM OUR LONDON STAFF IF THE RUMOURS are correct, British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has promised to place the UK in the position of a vassal state of the European Union to try and get the Democratic Unionist Party back into devolved power sharing in Northern Ireland. The Tory leader is said to have committed…