EL PASO, TEXAS THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION insists that its decision to continue the Mexican border wall started by Donald Trump does not mean he was right and they were wrong. “It’s an entirely different construct,” said a White House spokesman. “His was a tyrannical fascist-like barrier to peace and empathy, ours is an encouragement to…

FROM NUMEROUS PLACES WHERE REASON REIGNS POLITICIANS AND COMMENTATORS around the world have welcomed the end of the Voice Referendum in Australia. “At last, the adults back in charge,” said the London Morning Herald in an op ed piece that regretted the divisive nature of the campaign. The American Newspaper, which seemed to think that…

FROM OUR POLITICAL STAFF IN CANBERRA SUPPORTERS OF THE defeated Voice to Parliament are already proposing a fresh referendum, the Whinge, which will entitle all Australians who self-identify as whinging children to make submissions to Parliament on any subject that makes them unhappy. “For too long this section of our population, which has been growing…

JERUSALEM THE VIOLENCE HAS only just started and Hollywood is awash with rumors of a movie deal telling the story of the Israel-Hamas War. “Names of big stars are being thrown around like basketballs,” says David Larry, a top agent to the stars. “Pacino, De Niro, Stallone, all the action heroes are in the frame;…

PARIS FRENCH BED BUGS have lodged an official complaint with the Hotel de Ville in Paris, protesting at the huge infestation of people using beds they inhabit in the French capital. “And it’s not just in Paris, it’s all over France.” said a spokesbug. “Bed bugs cannot get a night’s sleep without some overweight, garlic-ridden…

KHAN YUNIS ISRAEL HAS ASKED Hamas to return all the money it gave the organization when it used to support it as a counter-weight to Yasser Arafat’s Fatah Movement in the Palestinian Territories during the 1980s. The original idea was that Hamas, a religious movement, would take the edge off what was then the leading…

BEIRUT IT’S ABOUT TO get a lot more crowded in the Holy Land as Canaanites across the globe announce their wish to return to their ancient homeland. “The Canaanites were there before the Jews – awkward!,” says Dr Dagon Mot Baal of the Canaanite Institute in Montreal Canada. “According to the Bible, their city, Jericho,…

WASHINGTON, DC A SENIOR US POLITICAL lobbyist has advised Palestinians to get more spokesmen with American, British or Australian accents if it wants to get any sympathy from the United States and its allies. “Americans like to hear their own accent, or something similar; they like to believe they are helping other Americans, or friends.…

OMAHA, NEBRASKA NEWS THAT HAMAS fighters demanded Diet Coke over Coke Zero, during its attack on an Israeli kibbutz, has caused short sellers up and down Wall Street to take sides with respect to the soft drinks behemoth in anticipation of its share price. “Some traders think that the Hamas fighter’s declared love for Diet…

MOSCOW “MILLENNIALS AND THEIR Successors really need to study more history, because I am sick and tired of hearing that this atrocity or that disaster has changed the world forever. It hasn’t. Indeed the world hasn’t changed very much since the last Ice Age.” Professor Tacitus Gibbon of the Yes, It Really Is All About…