BRUSSELS PROPERTIES VACATED BY Brits forced out of Europe after Brexit are to be given to, among others, Ukrainian draft dodgers and refugees from Gaza. Thousands of properties are becoming vacant as Brits who now find themselves to be illegal immigrants in European Union countries are forced from the Continent. “It is indeed a sad…

FROM BEIJING THERE WAS NO contest. As soon as Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese began explaining The Voice to his Chinese host, President Xi Jinping just broke down and surrendered on every point of contention between the two countries. “Yeah, it was a blood bath,” says freelance reporter Mike Trenchcoat, who was travelling with the…

FROM OUR WESTMINSTER REPORTERS “AT LEAST WITH a dictator you can put a bullet in his head if he proves to be a useless fuckwit; with these twats you’re stuck with them for five fucking years.” Dave from Dagenham, who describes himself as an ordinary bloke with only one vice – he supports Arsenal Football…

NEW YORK BECAUSE WOMEN, ON AVERAGE, speak 20,000 words a day and men, on average, speak 7,000 words a day, scientists now say that this means women have contributed more to global warming than men. “The science is settled,” says Dr Alexander Gob of the Strong Silent Type, a research institute devoted to measuring human…

FROM SAUL PAUL IN ROME CHRISTIANITY IS IN such a state of decline, and the subject of such widespread indifference and contempt, in Western Society, that it is possible that within a century it might revert to where it was in the early centuries of the Roman empire: a despised and persecuted wicked cult. “Atheism…

BY OSWALD HARVEY LEE WHILE STORIES OF the Fuhrer of the Third Reich escaping Berlin in April 1945 have circulated since the end of WWII, with South America being the chief location Adolf Hitler is speculated to have run to, a new book maintains that the German dictator fled far further than the rain forest,…

BY APOCALYPSE REPORTER ST JOHN REVELATION “IF ONE MORE academic or author comes on YouTube and tells us how the world is about to end, I will scream!” Mary, a mother of three, who runs her own business and cares for a chronically ill husband who still appreciates the joys in his life, asked that…

BY OUR SUSTAINABILITY EDITOR ABLE FAST CALLS FROM VEGANS and climate activists, for dogs and cats to be fed vegetable diets to help save the planet, have been met with a suggestion that vegans donate their own bodies for pet food to ensure pets receive at least some of the meat nature suggests they might…

SOCCER STADIUM COULD BE RENAMED BOBBY SANDS PARK AND PAINTED GREEN WHITE AND ORANGE, SAY SOURCES FROM BELFAST PLANS FOR THE GAELIC ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION to use Belfast football venue Windsor Park while its own stadium, Casement Park, is being used for the Euro 2028 Soccer Championship, are said to be well under way. During this…

SOMEWHERE BENEATH AN ACTIVE VOLCANO IF THE WESTERN World is – led by the United States of America – the strongest military power on earth, then how come it keeps losing wars? The detritus left by failed Western military adventures litters the pages of world history since 1945: China (supported the Nationalists who lost to…