CANBERRA

NOT SINCE THE ministry of Jesus will there been such an extraordinary number of cures of disabled people in such a short period of time.

The Australian Government has announced that within the next few years about 150,000 claimants of the National Disability Insurance Scheme will be re-designated and taken off payments, while companies providing disability services will now, for the first time, have to prove they are actually for real.

“This has been one of the greatest scandals in this country’s history,” says Professor Michael Scam, who specializes in studying well-meaning government programs that wind up being utterly abused. “Overnight, tens of thousands of Australians who were perfectly fit suddenly became disabled when the NDIS came in, and service providers popped up like weeds in a badly tended garden. At one point it appeared there were more service providers than disabled people. The scheme as it is costs billions and billions, and was well on its way to bankrupting us before the Government finally decided something had to be done. Not since the insulation shambles – remember that? – has there been such a cock-eyed cluster fuck. As they say, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Well, this NDIS was a doozy of good intentions backed up by incompetence and wishful thinking. If you want an example of how cretinous idiot do-gooders, using other people’s money, can be taken for a ride, this is it. It has been a licence to print money. My money. Your money. Pissed down the toilet. If you want to know why they want to raise more taxes, think NDIS and every other piece of dumb and dumber spending the Australian Government has been engaged in.”