PERTH

WESTERN AUSTRALIANS ARE trembling tonight after Australia’s Prime Minister pledged that their state’s Goods and Services Tax deal with the Federal Government in Canberra would not changed while he is in office.

The deal, which provides a floor on the state’s share of GST, meaning it cannot receive less than 75 cents for every dollar of its population share. Unfortunately for WA, its mining industry has a habit of creaming it during boom times, presenting opportunities for Federal politicians to redistribute its share of GST.

But Mr Albanese in adamant this will not happen during his tenure.

“From the man who said fifty times that he would not touch Negative Gearing and Capital Gains Tax, both of which he has turned arse over tit so he can milk them to get more money to spend on his crazy undergraduate Marxist agenda,” remarked a WA journalist. “People here are shitting themselves. They know the value of an Albanese promise. It’s not as if the Feds haven’t come over here before to take what’s ours. Remember that mining windfall tax, or whatever they ended up calling it? Remember, we keep this fucking country afloat with our mining revenues, and Canberra still treats us like a bloody piggy bank when it’s short of cash. Our GST is already lower because we’re so damn successful at making money. Now, what? It might go even lower? Bugger that. If Canberra cannot stick to the rules, to its promises, then maybe it is time we left the Commonwealth, and took our mines and all the rest with us.”