CALIFORNIA

DESPITE DENIALS, RUMORS abound that the Republican Party is actively raising money for another Kamala Harris presidential campaign.

“The way things are right now, with the Iran war stalled, fuel prices up, interest rates rising, and GOP numbers shaky for the midterms, our best chance for retaining the presidency in 2028 is definitley for the Democrats to run Kamala Harris,” admitted a Republican insider. “I mean we can broadcast executions and hope that AI produces all it promises, but a Harris nomination would be like a twenty point advantage from the get-go. And if she could team up with someone like Zohran Mamdani, boy, would that assist.”

The Republicans are said to be currently raising two dollars for Harris for every one dollar they raise for whoever runs for them.

“They have a shitload of lefty fronts and Woke-Marxist websites run by bots – who said AI was not going to pay off,” said a Mexican-based tech reporter who claims to have hacked a data centre being used for the project. “AI will funnel funds to any Harris campaign when the time comes. Kamala won’t know where the money’s originating from. As far as her people will know, it’ll be small modest sums from gender groups, abortion advocates, drug addicted street dwellers, benefit junkies, minority collectives, single parent support networks, Islamic Fundamentalist flying schools and illegal immigrant protection networks. The plan is then to leave the rest to her and her wacko ideas. Go Kamala!”