FROM OUR IRONY EDITORS

VOLUNTARY ASSISTED DYING may provide the American state of Tennessee with a surer way of ensuring death during judicial executions, according to a new report.

Following the recent failure to kill Christa Pike, a secret study has suggested that sending death row prisoners to Canada or Australia to avail of their Voluntary Assisted Dying programs, might be a sure fire way of making sure the death sentence is carried out successfully.

“The problem for prison executions is that they are relatively infrequent and yet the complicated nature of lethal injection requires a high degree of skill,” says Joe Torquemada who studies execution protocols across the world. “There just isn’t enough experience to ensure death. Contrast it with Voluntary Assisted Dying programs where it’s a conveyor belt and the people who do it are skilled, experienced and determined. They know how to get the job done. With no fuss. And no survivors.”