WASHINGTON, DC

AS RESULTS FROM the US Congressional mid-term elections pour in, and President Donald Trump insists he would romped home had he been a candidate, a new research paper, written by an Iranian scientist, suggests that Mr Trump’s famous ego may actually slow time in his immediate vicinity.

“We monitored clocks and watches of thousands of people close to the President, at given moments, against those of people some distance from him, and discovered that the former actually run slower than the latter,” said Dr Rulph Iman-Noose of the University of Parthia, whose paper, entitled Me Me Me was published in Time And Again, an academic magazine devoted to all things related to space and time.

“Indeed, even in Mr Trump’s presence there are differences, depending on how much boasting he his doing,” Dr Iman-Noose added. “And even when he his sleeping, if he his dreaming about himself, time in the area around him – either the White House or Mar-a-Lago – significantly slows compared with the rest of the world. It’s remarkable.”

Scientists studying Dr Iman-Noose’s work, believe the slowing of time around Mr Trump’s ego could account for his relative youthfulness given his age.

“If time is slowed by his ego, that could account for his rude health and energy,” said one. “So we’re looking at other elderly egos to see if they exert the same gravitational effect on their ages.”