BELGRADE, THURSDAY – AN IRISH CONSTRUCTION TYCOON HAS OFFERED TO BUILD A MOUNTAIN RANGE ALONG THE BORDER BETWEEN UKRAINE AND RUSSIA TO SOLVE A MAJOR ISSUE AT THE HEART OF THE CURRENT WAR BETWEEN THE TWO COUNTRIES. PROPERTY DEVELOPER PADRAIG ACREAGE TOLD THE BUGLE: “YEAH, IF THE UNITED NATIONS AND THE EUROPEAN UNION AND THE…

BY OUR SPACE CADET REPORTER VENUS PORTAL BAIKONUR, MONDAY – LIGHT HAS BEEN RECORDED TRAVELLING FASTER THAN ITSELF, AND WE MIGHT BE THE CAUSE. LIGHT FROM THE SUN HAS BEEN CLOCKED TAKING A FRACTION OF A SECOND LESS TIME TO REACH EARTH THAN IT SHOULD ON AT LEAST FIFTEEN OCCASIONS IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS.…

from our business desk GRAND CAYMAN – THE CONTINUED GROWTH OF SO-CALLED “HYPOCRISY FUNDS” HAS BEEN HIGHLIGHTED BY THE RECENT SUPERFUND EMBARRASSMENT OF AUSTRALIAN GREENS LEADER ADAM BANDT. THESE FUNDS SHORT SELL INVESTMENTS OWNED BY FAMOUS PEOPLE – POLICITIANS, CELEBRITIES, RELIGIOUS LEADERS – WHICH CONTRADICT THE EXPRESS PRINCIPLES OF THE FAMOUS INDIVIDUAL INVESTED IN THE…

CANBERRA – AUSTRALIAN Iron Ore bound for China is being spiked with sophisticated nano-bugs which allow Canberra to watch and listen to millions of Chinese conversations around the People’s Republic. The technology, first developed by Mexican drug cartels for use in the United States, turns steel made from it, and therefore entire buildings, into surveillance…

Australia’s new American submarines are all haunted, according to a French historian. “That is why they are giving them to you,” said Jacques St Just Gateau, Professor of Naval Economics at the prestigious Ecole Bateau in Paris. “These boats are all stalked by the ghosts of nuclear accidents. The Americans never reveal their nuclear accident…

Science Desk NEW research has shown that Australia is moving north faster than was thought. The island continent, which broke off from Gondwanaland about 33 million years ago, has been generally drifting north on its own tectonic plate ever since. It used to be thought that this drift was at about 7 centimetres a year…