MEDIA DESK READERS OF the Irish Times, a newspaper so heavy with its own profundity that it demands a back brace just to sit in front of it, say they have noticed the paper has become less boring recently and are wondering if it is down to the AI program which is said to have…

FOREIGN EDITOR’S ASSISTANT COFFEE MAKER AS IF planning for war with China and Russia simultaneously were not challenge enough for him, newly beefed up Irish Foreign Minister Micheal Martin has indicated to the Irish Parliament that there appears to be an ongoing Russian plot to destabilize the current Fine Gael/Fianna Fail-led Dublin Government, using –…

NATURE DESK IN A WORLD FIRST, a woman who lived with pond life for twenty five years has laid tadpole eggs. The woman, who lives in the Orinoco rain forest, was apparently abandoned by her parents soon after birth. “Okay, actually the family were from New York and on a bucket list trip when they…

BY YURI ZHIVAGO, FAR EASTERN EDITOR IN AN ACT of what it says is “unprecedented neighborliness”, the People’s Republic of China has indicated that should things go bad in Ukraine for Russia, and should President Putin’s regime struggle to keep order in the world’s largest country because of any setback, Beijing will step in and…

DEFENCE DESK AUSTRALIA AND FRANCE have agreed to kiss and make up after the Aussie decision to cancel a humongous submarine contract between the two countries caused something of an entente terrible. Instead of French subs, Australia will purchase the Maginot Line from the French, which will act as a temporary defence against Chinese aggression…

BY FOOD CRITIC ROGER DUMPLING FRESH FIGURES from a huge survey of American weight, together with the recent demise of Jenny Craig, the Australian weight loss company, in the United States, have led researchers to a stunning conclusion: the sea levels around Florida may not be rising at all; because they don’t have to. Instead,…

MEDICAL DESK CANADA IS officially so dull that it now being prescribed as a cure for hypertension, or high blood pressure. According to a new study, Canada can, at times, virtually stop the human heart beating. “Look, while it’s really good news for high blood pressure, it can be dangerous for people with bad hearts…

ENTERTAINMENT DESK BRYAN BRICK, veteran, husband, father, gun owner, Nascar fan and Trump voter, dropped unconscious last Friday in his Arizona trailer. The ambulance rushed him to emergency and doctors worked on him all night. Finally, they told his wife he was brain dead. They asked her permission to turn off the life support equipment.…

SOMEONE IN IRELAND MILITARY EXPERTS in Ireland are confident the country could sustain a two-front war with Russia and China, with some limited effort and a European Union grant. The recent bitch-slappings of both powers by Irish Tanaiste and Foreign Minister Micheal Martin, have caused raised eyebrows across the globe, as Ireland, like its Foreign…

FATUOUS CLAIMS CORRESPONDENT CLAIMS BY TORY CHAIRMAN Greg Hands that Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine was a factor in Conservative Party local election losses have been dismissed by the Russian president. A western intercept of communications between the Kremlin and its London embassy indicate that Putin is upset at what has happened to the Conservatives…