Category: Uncategorized
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WOMAN CLAIMS TO HAVE WALKED ACROSS PACIFIC OCEAN ON GARBAGE TRACK
ENVIRONMENTAL DESK AN ENVIRONMENTAL campaigner says she was able to walk all the way from Acapulco to the Barrier Reef on a trail of human garbage. Rita Murphy-Mendez, a Mexican born Irish activist, says the journey of about 13,000 kilometres, took the better part of two years and involved stops at Pacific islands and dead…
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AUSTRALIA BEGS CHINA NOT TO START WAR FOR 20 YEARS AS “WE’RE NOT READY”
BY HUGH COWARD, DEFENCE REPORTER HIGH OCTANE CHINESE MILITARY exercises off Taiwan have seen Canberra send a top secret diplomatic mission to Beijing, to plead with Chinese leaders not to start a war, that Australia might be forced to join, for at least 20 years, as Australia is not ready for such a fight. “Old…
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TRUMP FANS OFFER BIDEN GOLF MATCH AT EX-PRESIDENT’S IRISH COURSE TO DECIDE 2024 US PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION
SPORTS DESK IT COULD be the golf game of the century. Imagine two titans of American politics slogging it out in the wind and rain at Doonbeg links, Co Clare, in Ireland. The Prize: the Presidency of the United States. That’s the offer some Trump supporters have made to current President Joe Biden, who just…
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DOPE HEAD FINDS IN MEDITERRANEAN SHIT HOLE GIVE CLUE TO CAUSE OF BRONZE AGE CIVILIZATION COLLAPSE
ARCHAEOLOGY DESK IT APPEARS it’s a tale as old as civilization itself: an elite class of drug abusers leading a society down the toilet. Take you mind back several thousand years, past Mohammed, past Rome, past Jesus, Past Socrates, past Homer (the poet, not the Simpson), to an age when no one used iron. You’re…
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BIDEN TO VISIT NORTHERN IRELAND IN DELOREAN
DERRY, LONDON, BELFAST, IRELAND, NORTH US PRESIDENT Joe Biden will conduct his short visit north of the Irish border in a DeLorean motor car. He is due to attend the University of Ulster near Belfast for a celebration of 25th Anniversary of the Good Friday Agreement, and because Derry is unavailable as it’s on fire…
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AUSTRALIAN YOUNGSTERS SHOCKED TO FIND THAT FIRST HOME DOES NOT MEAN A 4-BED WITH A SWIMMING POOL
BY MARCUS BRICKFRONT, HOUSING CORRESPONDENT AN INTERNET VIDEO of a young European woman with a mobile phone, a laptop, and a state subsidy when she is not working, claiming she was living below the poverty line, has drawn the expectations of today’s young Australians into sharp focus. A recent gathering of Australian youngsters has revealed…
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HUGE INCREASE IN CALIFORNIANS MOVING TO ZIMBABWE FOR BETTER LIFE
FROM OUR AFRICA EDITOR CECIL RHODES CALIFORNIANS WHO have grown weary of the state’s tortuous journey to egalitarian utopia are increasingly seeking refuge in Zimbabwe. “It began as a trickle, and is developing into a veritable torrent,” said April Crystal of the Close Your Eyes And You Will Be Fine Foundation in Palo Alto. “We’ve…
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NATO LEADERS’ PLAN TO RENAME UKRAINE ‘NUKRAINE’ AS SIGN OF SOLIDARITY SHELVED AFTER NEW NAME SCARES SHIT OUT OF VOTING PUBLIC
DEFENCE EDITOR A PLAN to bring Ukraine closer to NATO by renaming the war-torn country has backfired and had to be abandoned after it caused panic across the alliance. The idea was to add an “N” to Ukraine to signify NATO’s commitment to its defence, an eternal bond. Unfortunately, the word Nukraine sent citizens of…
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DOG MIND PROBE REVEALS THEY REALLY HATE OWNERS DESPITE HAPPY FACES AND WAGGING TAILS
STAFF REPORTERS DESPERATE dog owners everywhere will be reeling in horror at the results of a new examination of pooch brain activity over recent months. Sensors planted inside thousands of canine heads indicate that precisely when dogs appear to be most excited by the presence of their owners, when they are wagging their tails and…
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TRANS PRONOUNS SLOWING DOWN SPEECH IN ENGLISH AND SQUEEZING ECONOMIC OUTPUT, SAYS LEADING ECONOMIST
TORONTO, CANADA THE use of transsexual pronouns is beginning to have an impact on communication in English, and act as a brake on economic activity and output, says a senior academic. “In the old days,” says Professor Enda Manic, an economist who studies links between languages and economic output, “English was a very flexible tool,…