LONDINIUM IN 410 AD, the Western Roman Emperor, Honorius, sent a letter to the cities of the empire’s colony, Britannia, telling them to look to their own the defences, that Rome could no longer protect them. President Donald Trump has essentially told America’s allies around the globe, and in particular those in Europe, including Britain,…

FROM OUR CORRESPONDENT TORA TORA TORA THE FLEET THAT attacked Pearl Harbor eighty four years ago was British, not Japanese, according to a revisionist historian, who claims a secret plot by Winston Churchill to get America into the war in 1941 saw British aircraft carriers using Japanese aircraft sink the US Pacific Fleet that Sunday…

CARACAS A LEADING INTERNATIONAL maritime lawyer says that Venezuelan drug boats should re-flag themselves as Russian or Chinese to lessen the risk of being blown out of the water by the Americans. “Flags of convenience are a tried and tested way of avoiding unpleasant consequences at sea,” insists Sol Malhombre who registers vessels all over…

SAN FRANCISCO CORRESPONDENT ORWELL SMITH A NEW PROPOSAL, which could soon be put to a vote in California, would have anything that offends or upsets the feelings of minority groups, no matter how true it is, declared a lie, officially. “This would have an effect on defamation, legal documents, commentary, court evidence, oaths, literature, even…

FROM OUR FINAL SOLUTION EDITOR, HEINRICH HEINRICH CALLS FOR A south Dublin park to be stripped of its name in protest at Israel’s military campaign against Hamas in the Gaza strip, have been met with a proposal that the park should be renamed after a famous Irish politician whose first speech to the Irish Parliament…

DUBLIN NEWS THAT IRISH police have complained that the country’s Defence Forces did not fire at suspicious drones flying near the Irish Capital during the recent visit of Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, has been met with a revelation that Irish military personnel do not tend to fire at potential threats as that might cause these threats…

MOSCOW RUSSIA HAS DEVELOPED a bomb which, rather than killing people, leaves them unable ever to pronounce their vowels again, according to a report from British Intelligence. “The effect on any opposing army will be devastating,” the Secret Intelligence Service report states. “Hundreds of thousands of troops unable to make themselves understood to their comrades.…

DUBLIN IRISH NATIONAL TELEVISION network, RTE’s announcement that it will boycott the next Eurovision Song Contest in protest at Israel’s actions in Gaza, is being seen by media observers as a supremely lucky break for the penurious broadcaster, which has been struggling to survive even with government grants, advertising and a licence fee. “RTE is…

DUBLIN FOLLOWING A PROPOSAL to remove the name of former Israeli President Chaim Herzog from a public park in the Irish Capital, in protest at the Jewish state’s actions in Gaza, a fresh demand has emerged to remove all references to the most famous Jew of all time, Jesus Christ, from statues and buildings across…

PERTH, AUSTRALIA FOLLOWING THE HUMILIATING collapse of the England Cricket Team’s middle batting order against Australia in the first test of the current Ashes Series, the latest in a long line of such catastrophes, the United Nations Education, Scientific and Cultural Organisation (UNESCO) has been asked to declare this very specific repeat sporting disaster a…