FROM OUR EXPLOSIVES EDITOR SAL TPETRE THE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT anti-aircraft missiles for Ukraine will be made in Belfast has Peace Process advocates scratching their heads and IRA veterans wondering if the British Government will be seeking help from its old enemies to supply ordnance to the beleaguered Eastern European nation. “We’re not anxious to get…

MOSCOW “HE CANNOT KEEP his mouth shut; he draws attention to himself like shit draws flies; and he has a below zero embarrassment threshold. Donald Trump is unrecruitable.” Colonel Igor Stalin, late of the Second Directorate of the KGB, has poured cold vodka on the notion that his organisation compromised and recruited Mr Trump in…

BRISBANE WHILE AUSTRALIA WAITS for Cyclone Alfred to make landfall, a leading conspiracy theorist says the slow arrival of the storm could be because it is being run by the Federal Government in Canberra. David Berk-Moran, who wears tinfoil on his head and says Lee Harvey Oswald was JFK’s illegitimate son, insists that the delayed…

WASHINGTON, DC DONALD TRUMP HAS been warned by senior advisors, that at the rate he is offending and picking fights, he will have no one left to ‘diss’ in six months time. “There’s real concern in the West Wing that the President is abusing enemies faster than they can be created,” said a senior staffer.…

CANBERRA CYCLONE ALFRED THREATENING the east coast of Australia has led to calls for Federal Prime Minister Anthony Albanese to release Members of Federal Parliament, from both chambers, especially Ministers, for use as sandbags against projected floods. “Look, Albo has all these windbags sitting around doing fuck all; they could be really useful protecting against…

DUBLIN DEMOCRATIC UNIONIST PARTY leader Gavin Robinson’s demand that the Irish Republic to his South increase the size of its military is being likened to a turkey calling for Christmas. “Unionism as a whole, but the Democratic Unionists in particular, have always been known as a political group that never misses an opportunity to miss…

FROM OUR PARALLEL UNIVERSE STAFF COULD EVERYTHING WE have witnessed in Donald Trump’s recent behavior be the result of quantum computer activity? One scientist believes it may well be. “A quantum computer’s ability to tap into parallel universes means that we can no longer fully rely on what we see in our own reality,” says…

WASHINGTON DC “LET US BE very clear: without France, there would be no United States of America. France financed your revolution, France supported it, France enabled the crucial American victory at Yorktown. And then France sold about a third of the modern United States to Thomas Jefferson for $15 million. Mar-a-Lago is worth multiples of…

KYIV IS THE NATION state to be superseded by the joint venture? Donald Trump’s plan to sign a deal for rare earth metals with Ukraine, could be the beginning of a new direction in human organisation, as business project rather than community. “The nation has its limits; business is an open border,” says journalist Stone…

FROM OUR COLD WAR EDITOR NED STAPLETON A RUSSIAN HISTORIAN is alleging that one reason the Troubles in Northern Ireland lasted as long as they did, was that British Foreign Intelligence Service MI6 was using Irish Revolutionary Marxists to penetrate the Warsaw Pact during the Cold War. “Most people know of the Provisional Irish Republican…