BELGRADE, THURSDAY THE INSIDE IS READY, the outside is still being renovated. But Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is ready enough for its most famous resident to move back in. The Hunchback of Notre Dame will ring the church bells again some time before Christmas. “We don’t know when, exactly,” said a spokesman for the…

CALI, COLUMBIA “THE CARTELS ARE celebrating. Hunter Biden is back in circulation. Prices are already rising again. God is in his heaven and Joe Biden has proved that blood is even thicker than a kilo of cocaine.” Mongol Diddy Plop, a gangster rapper with a string of drug peddling convictions and several hits banned on…

FROM OUR POLITICAL GAFFE CONTRIBUTORS AS IRISH PRIME Minister Simon Harris seems to only open his mouth to change feet, observers of the Emerald Isle’s General Election are commenting on the similarities between the Irish leader’s election campaign and that of his namesake, Kamala Harris (Remember her?) in the United States. “It has to be…

CO. WICKLOW, IRELAND “THIS IS THE difference between someone who has simply failed upwards from nowhere and a real political leader – Simon Harris always sounds like a schoolboy who has learned his poetry by heart without really understanding it; a true leader knows the meaning behind the words. Or at least pretends he does.”…

BERLIN, GERMANY NEWS THAT GERMANY is mobilizing in the face of a nuclear threat from Russia, as well as bringing back less than fond memories of 1914, has caused nuclear war experts to ask what the point of it is? “Have they forgotten the Cold War, all the films and documentaries, all the brutal reminders…

WASHINGTON DC IN WHAT APPEARS to be a last act of bravado before he exits the stage, US President Joe Biden has decided – if decided is the word – to finally give permission for Ukraine to launch what are termed long-range missiles into Russia. Some are trembling; others are hailing it as a chance…

KYIV “PRESIDENT ZELENSKYY’S REMARKS, about seeking to end his country’s war with Russia next year by diplomatic means, says it all. The West has all but lost interest, despite the tough talk. Various countries want to force Ukrainian refugees to go home. And, of course, Trump wants the fighting to stop. Soldiers in the front…

DUBLIN ALONGSIDE BOOSTING POLICE numbers to meet the growing street protests against swelling asylum seeker figures, a secret policy document proposing that everyone in Ireland be made homeless, to even the playing pitch in the country’s housing crisis, has been found lying in the gutter in central Dublin. The document, which does not have any…

FROM OUR OFF THE WALL EDITOR AS IT PLUMBS the depths of absurdity, in response to the victory of Donald Trump, reality has come knocking on the door of left-wing news outlet, MSNBC. Americans just aren’t watching it any more. More of them now admit to preferring to watch a fresh coat of pain dry…

DUBLIN, IRELAND “SURE, THERE’S ONLY one place in this whole country more cushy than a job teaching school, and that’s the Dail. That’s why so many people run for election in general, and why so many of those are teachers, hence a shortage of teachers.” So says economist and businessman Dr Leery McMichael, corporate raider…