DAMASCUS “IT LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER GRUBBY COUP masquerading as a rebellion. People around him obviously wanted him to go. And there was no Russia or Iran to help him. They’re busy. So now Syria is in the hands of freedom-loving Islamic fundamentalists. Yippee!” Mike Viper-Aynus, CIA Agent, gun runner, counter-terrorist whistle-blower and one-time lead tenor…

DUBLIN A LITTLE UNDERSTOOD by-product of the Good Friday Agreement in 1998 was a secret protocol that said Atlantic storms which hit the Emerald Isle would be designated all-Ireland weather events. This was later extended to the Irish Sea when the recent Brexit Agreement left Northern Ireland inside the European Union’s economic regime with a…

DUBLIN A SMALL PIECE of grit is beginning to upset the previous state of harmony that existed between Irish Government parties Fianna Fail and Fine Gael: how long will each party’s leader be Taoiseach in any new administration given the disparity in seats won by the former allies. “Fianna Fail won 48 seats, to Fine…

MELBOURNE UNABLE TO EMULATE Argentina any more, because that South American state appears to have woken up to the shambolic policies it has been pursuing for decades, the Australian state of Victoria has been advised, instead, to follow the path of another South American disaster, Venezuela, if it is to continue its own economic decline,…

LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIANS RUNNING from a potential tsunami following a magnitude 7 earthquake, are being warned that the emergency is not a movie. “Californians are so used to movies about natural disasters that every time a warning is issued, the first thing they think of is another catastrophe movie being filmed,” says Pedro Hercules, an…

KYIV LONG FEARFUL OF what a Donald Trump presidency would mean for their chances of victory in the war with Russia, Ukrainians are now hoping the MAGA Man will be able to end the war on half-reasonable terms for them. “They’re hanging on now, on all fronts,” says Ulrich Hasselbruiser, a human rights lawyer from…

OUR POLITICS DESK IN THE WAKE of the Irish General Election, the country’s Labour Party says it will not enter coalition government with Fianna Fail and Fine Gael without having some smaller party, or parties, in it with them. “They’ll say it’s all about stability, but it’s really a recognition that the smaller members of…

CANBERRA AUSTRALIA’S ARMED FORCES will be the first in the world to achieve net zero while in battle. The Government is proposing to equip its fighting men, women and others with green ammunition and weapons systems that leave no carbon emissions. “This a win-win from Albo’s Army,” insisted a Canberra press officer. “The weapons will…

BELGRADE, THURSDAY THE INSIDE IS READY, the outside is still being renovated. But Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is ready enough for its most famous resident to move back in. The Hunchback of Notre Dame will ring the church bells again some time before Christmas. “We don’t know when, exactly,” said a spokesman for the…

CALI, COLUMBIA “THE CARTELS ARE celebrating. Hunter Biden is back in circulation. Prices are already rising again. God is in his heaven and Joe Biden has proved that blood is even thicker than a kilo of cocaine.” Mongol Diddy Plop, a gangster rapper with a string of drug peddling convictions and several hits banned on…